Anonymous asked: Choking Anon here. Links are okay and take all the time you need! I just wasn’t sure where to start looking on my own (since it’s something of a sensitive subject and it’s likely easier to find wrong information faster) so I figured you/your blog could at least point me in a general area to start looking. Thanks again!

safeword:

i’m gonna start by linking you to queerkink’s breath control guide (which is of course gender neutral and not actually queer-specific since all human beings have throats, so don’t be afraid if you’re not queer). also check out their links that i can’t read for squickiness reasons, blech.

the jist of it is don’t do it. the trouble with breathplay is twofold: if you press too hard on the windpipe, you crush it, and then your beloved and cherished pet is dead. similarly, if you block blood from flowing through the arteries in the throat, not only can you cause brain damage (usually minor, but to be avoided generally speaking) by depriving the brain of oxygen, but you can cause a heartattack fifteen to twenty minutes later, which is how most breathplay-related fatalities occur, apparently, and there’s no way to tell in the moment if you’ve gone far enough to cause a heart attack later.

now i have never personally witnessed a breathplay-related fatality or injury (thank goodness), so i’m speaking from the same sources you have available, which is the internet.

suggestions:

• QK’s suggestion of pressing up on the underside of the chin where it meets the throat, where the sub can breathe but the vocal cords are cut off so that feeling of pressure on the throat and vulnerability is achieved. read their post.
• ducttaping over the mouth as a gag and then pinching the nose right after an inhale. the throat isn’t crushed, blood isn’t blocked, panic rises and you can let them breathe again before they completely run out of oxygen in the lungful of air. absolute control: achieved. also, the dramatic effect of ripping the duct tape off (provided your sub doesn’t have a beard, i guess, unless you’re into that) while they take that first ragged breath in… mm.
• as far as i can tell, light pressure just above the adam’s apple seems relatively safe. but seriously: light. not hard enough to entirely cut off air, but enough to make their breathing labored and panicky. and don’t block the bloodflow in the arteries!
• choke them with your cock/dildo. mm. not blocking oxygen to the brain but still making them feel owned and controlled. perfect.

seriously, any dom worth their salt can do pretty great work just with headgames. also, any dom worth their salt wouldn’t risk their sub’s life. personally i find slamming a sub against a wall with a hand on their throat (and a hand behind their head holding a fistful of their hair, which feels scary and controlling but also protects their skull from impact!) and hissing “i could do anything to you” with a menacing squeeze works pretty well.

things you ABSOLUTELY should not do, even if you’re gonna go for it anyway:

• choking with anything except your hands (ie a rope/cord, a collar). you can’t feel how much pressure you’re putting on the throat and you’re almost definitely blocking bloodflow because the pressure is coming from all side, not one controlled point.
• choking till the face changes color. you’re blocking bloodflow! you idiot! don’t do this! oh my god!
• choking enough to completely block airflow. like i said, a little teasing threat of making it a struggle to breathe is plenty to get a sub going.

um. so basically breath control: a-okay! actual complete-blockage choking: um, looks like you’re shit outta luck. sorry bro. hopefully some of my suggestions appeal?

Hey, so, a couple years ago I read something about how if you engage in choking and don’t die, you could still have a heart attack like 20 minutes later.  I think it was from a BDSM site, and I believed it, but I also know next to nothing about health and I don’t really trust my instincts/impressions so I still wasn’t sure.  

So yeah, I should trust myself and definitely no more of this.